My own insignificance disturbs me

Haha, no I'm not going to go on a tirade of my worthlessness. More of an analysis.....yet again.

I was at the beach, not swimming, but rather trying to be silly and digging a trench in the sand towards my sister who was trying to brainstorm a few feet into shore.

well time was running out for my trench, since we were about to leave. So I discarded the idea of trench and connected my hole to the water.

What was interesting was that the abandoned trench provided the perfect spot for me to put myself in while I dug the trench to the beach. And it amused me in how that was great evidence for that idea of "when things don't work out it isn't always for the worse". Haha.

And when I finished my "lake-capture device" (I'll try to post a pic up), I knew it would be washed away anyway.

But it got me thinking about the Butterfly Effect, and I was wondering: What exactly did my trench hole thing cause? Would it actually change waves or something? And influence something offshore?

Now that I think of it, perhaps the effect wasn't necessarily water-related. As I remember there were people around me, did I inspire a train of thought that would eventually combine to be the force behind an action?

See, I'm a writer, and I keep tabs on my environment a lot, finding inspiration and etc. So I always wonder if something I did or someone else did served as inspiration. Interesting!

And the title of this post has got me, in that yes if considering the big picture we seem insignificant, but like a picture or anything, we are PIXELS, and alone we are insignificant and unimportant, but together....together we MAKE the picture. Amazing.

And that's a fact. I influence the people and environment around me in the most beneficial way possible, and hope that the effect carries on. That's all we can do, since we ourselves can't really "see" the big picture, we just hope.

Sweet.

Freaky

Being the thought-rambler that I am, a few nights ago I was thinking of the whole "We are made in God's image" deal. (This idea also explains gender in heaven, or so at least I think that's what we talked about in religion class).

Anyway, so I was thinking about that, and I was mulling over how we humans are so diverse, so unique, everyone is different. DNA, experiences, everything.

And that God was all of that.

I was like "WHOA MAN".

So out of this world.

Makes sense then, that God's everything. He must have had a looottt of love to split himself up like that. But don't they say "God's infinite love" or something?

Tough love too, some of His pieces self-destruct. Too bad.

And while we're on the subject of people and their uniqueness....

I wish I knew everyone's life history. I'm pretty much a knowledge junkie, and it's not gossip that makes me want to know about people. Because it's their pasts that show me what they are like and what might have influenced them (I'll never for sure, just speculation based on the evidence provided).

That's when I wish I was God, so I could know everything.

But that comes at a sacrifice, doesn't it, knowing everything means you have to bear the weight of the troubles that come from it. Tough, tough.

But yeah.....I would love to know about people. They are so interesting....

Interesting!

So yesterday my mom spilled shrimp broth in the fridge, went ballistic and I had to go help clean it up with Lysol. Unfortunately she demanded the rag be wrung dry almost, and so I proceeded to do so to avoid having her explode again. So I did that. For about 10 times. Probably around 3 wrings a go.

It was all done in good nature. Then I went to church to practice organ (it's a blast), and for some reason I was just tired! Not the lethargy that I usually get around 3, but...my wrists were aching, it was odd for someone who's been playing piano for 15 years.

The way I lay it out now in this post it seems logical to why it ached. But I really had no clue. I thought it was because I had practiced a ton on the piano the night before (it was nice).

Then I thought of the explanation about last night or this morning. (That explained my strange bicep cramp, which I haven't been getting since school ended.)

Weird, how my mind didn't really connect things. But I love connecting, nonetheless.

It got me thinking, of how in the bigger picture it takes us time to digest information, to connect. And stuff that happens now, like break ups or something equally drastic.....the effects, beneficial or not....can only be realized after some time has passed.

I guess it's not possible for us to see the bigger picture until we distance ourselves from the past. I keep thinking we see life as if through a tube, and only when we pass something we can stop and look behind to study it, since we're moving most of the time.

Time.....reminds of those Tramlafordians or whatever they were in Slaughterhouse-Five. HAhahaa.....